I feel irritated. Someone's following me everywhere I go. Yes I am sure of that. I can't persist his cold long stare in my eyes for long. From the shadows of him that lingers away with mine I can tell his presence behind. He limped behind me in a careless manner almost in an inaudible way. I feel restless. I have toiled long and hard to taste the fruits of success and now when it's time I must rejoice, I must boast of it, blew away trumphets to proclaim my successful stories of life. But again something is holding me back. I turn around. Yes it's him!!!!
A deep hatred surged up inside my thorat. I am getting late. I have to join my folks back where I belong to the chores of celebration, to rejoice for the commencement of our new life as professionals. I don't have time to squander away on someone so insignificant. Now I am getting angry.I have to stop someone following me. I have to be safe and sound at the end of the day. I picked up a stone. But..........I stopped!!!!
How can I hurt someone who is already wounded? Someone who needs help, care, affection. The red faced guy is not just red. It's more than just a color. It's blood. He has his blood stained all over his fragile body. He has been limping all the way back following me. He trembles now and them and is weakened to his feet. He is crying.
I tried to heal him up.... I tried to heal him up.....but I failed. He is just bleeding incessantly. But the guy is not concerned about his blood. He is still staring at me right through my eyes. As if every heart beats of mine are synchronizing with him, the every thought that comes to my head is anticipated by him. I feel disgust. Is this guy human? Why is he acting so monotonous? And why is he following me?? I just blurted out to him.... "WHY????".....
".....To decide what is right and what is wrong. To stand by you when you decide good or bad. To discriminate between the falsity of words with the truth from heart. I am someone whom you own your childhood innocence, your every truth and every lies and ur countless attempts to evade away from the truth. Someone who wants to scream, someone who tries to enact in situations, someone whom you fear to duel with. That's why you evade me.U suppress me. I don't want to bribe away someone to get my work done, but u did. That's why u suppressed me. When you welcome the news of ongoing slaughters in your own state with the morning cup of tea, I feel hurt. I bleed. I want to enact. I want to pacify them. But what you do is make some fun comments about the parties involved and digress away from it and calculate to what monthly sum 3.14 converge and daydream of it.When you see someone giving a slang to a fellow person, I want to beat him up and teach him some manners. But what you care is for and while loops on your self made world. When you see your own countrymen giving a damn about your motherland and goes on shitting and splitting everywhere , first thing I want to do is teach him some ettiquate but you still walk away. When by chance you come across any rightful proper action, something good I know you want to celebrate just like me. Yes, I am bleeding. And that is the sole reason you have shut myself up deep witihn yourself. I have been bleeding since then and I will bleed so until you choose to make a difference. To decide what is right and what is wrong....I am just your CONSCIENCE ........"
Oh!!!! It's past 9 o' clock . The alarm clock is wailing right beside my ears. I have been sleeping past due time and it is the yells of my mother that engulf me right now. My head feels heavy. I bet you would also feel it when you go through any hard hitting dream like this. As I prepared myself for morning tea the words from that red faced guy lingers up in my head. As the left over words savaged my morning , I take a peep in the daily newspaper. Oh yes !!!! He's not just in my dream . Here I see him completely. He has been more darkened by new blood. Yes he his crying again for the nine people who lost their lives in just another day of Netai village.
very good... but I was having an issue with you buddy. It's like you have an awsome start always, then it goes high, then suddenly the spirit falls. But the part upto the beginning of brown quotation kept me in a fix, but then spirits dwindled a bit, but it was still a nice/wise read!
ReplyDeleteWe need some drama and some stuff to laugh! you dont want your readers to go away glum do ya?
very sensitive and touchy one.
ReplyDelete@foolwise: i know what you are talking about...but the context of the post is due to the ongoing slaughter in our state to what we are becoming accustomed...still we make merry on a lot of things...when i am scripting i too wanted to end it in a positive note but that would have been a diversion from the reality..in reality we are still lacking out there.. there hasn't been any light still on the end of tunnel ...
ReplyDelete@soma: yes it's our hard reality as for now...
ReplyDeleteyeah i have your point... but It developed without the final mention of reality. Infact that created a more disjointed leap in the work's flow... to me it seemed like you suddenly remembered about the recent happenings when you were in the last paragraph... and you did not start with this end in mind!
ReplyDeleteBy the way,.. that perfectly alright... that's what an wondering writer would do... but are a critic... you write with a definite end ... as far as u?
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ReplyDeleteKarthik
IndiBlogger Team